I Finally Reached Enlightenment And All I Got Was This Stupid Aura
I read today that questions are for understanding people, not for making ourselves sound smart, to challenge, or to couch criticism. OUCH. Ya, I'm guilty of doing those things sometimes.
A number of times I've thought lately how sick I am of hearing all the crap that comes out of my mouth. What if I just stopped talking for a while. Like maybe a year? Ok maybe not that long, but there's really not that much that necessarily must be said, is there? I miss things because I don't ask the right questions. I forget to stay engaged in learning about another person. I don't think to ask the right things at the right times, and later find a good friend's life plan is taking a different course and I didn't even know it even though we talk regularly. Maybe I am talking about me too much. Maybe I'm too busy trying to sound smart or "challenge" or voice my own opinions.
What if I stop trying to prevent people from forming an opinion about me without my help? What if I just trust that they will think what they will and that takes nothing from me as a person?
Maybe my communication style needs a "de-cluttering" of sorts. Simplifying life might include budgeting words better, asking more questions internally before spending the verbage. If that metaphor works, then it could also include worrying less about image and investing more in questions that pay interest in the form of connection.
A number of times I've thought lately how sick I am of hearing all the crap that comes out of my mouth. What if I just stopped talking for a while. Like maybe a year? Ok maybe not that long, but there's really not that much that necessarily must be said, is there? I miss things because I don't ask the right questions. I forget to stay engaged in learning about another person. I don't think to ask the right things at the right times, and later find a good friend's life plan is taking a different course and I didn't even know it even though we talk regularly. Maybe I am talking about me too much. Maybe I'm too busy trying to sound smart or "challenge" or voice my own opinions.
What if I stop trying to prevent people from forming an opinion about me without my help? What if I just trust that they will think what they will and that takes nothing from me as a person?
Maybe my communication style needs a "de-cluttering" of sorts. Simplifying life might include budgeting words better, asking more questions internally before spending the verbage. If that metaphor works, then it could also include worrying less about image and investing more in questions that pay interest in the form of connection.
posted by Captainwow on
10/22/2005
6 Comments:
Wait! We don't want you to write LESS. We want MORE, MORE, MORE.
By
Anonymous, at 10/22/2005 10:48 PM
MORE lamas bread! Ptooi!
You always ask me really good questions AND you also always SHARE things in your life with me - SO I THINK you have just the right balance of asking and telling. Of seeking and sharing...yep, you're a good example of a good friend.
By
Headless-in-GR, at 10/23/2005 10:49 AM
My my. You and me both, sister.
Now, if we could just get ourselves a third eye...yeah, but without the archaic surgical part...
By
Pat, at 10/23/2005 4:05 PM
That is actually really thought-provoking.
It brings up two things to me I have learned and am working to do better:
1. 2 ears, 1 mouth.
2. What if we realized that all of the time we spent worrying about what others think is really them worrying about what others think and no one is really giving any of the thought to each other that we think we are.
Make sense? Or did I just muck that up a bit?
Anyway, I like you the way you are.
By
Running2Ks, at 10/23/2005 9:15 PM
I think you hit on something in a new light. And yes, you're sometimes guilty of it. Though oftentimes I can think of no other friend who I'd rather share my life's issues.
By
Anonymous, at 10/23/2005 11:38 PM
You're sure you aren't riding around in my head these days? I laughed as I could relate to this post so much. The first paragraph made me go 'ouch' too.
By
Hope, at 10/26/2005 11:11 AM
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