Captainwow

Friday, June 03, 2005

The Farting Nun

A good while back, I was in the bookstore at Marywood, a nearby Dominican Center which also houses some retired (and probably un-retired) nuns. I was there looking for a specific book. As I approached the section near the back of the store where I knew I'd find the book I was looking for, I saw an old woman bending over looking at the same section I wanted to look at. So I hung back and looked at other books, giving her some personal space. As I was browsing, I heard a very long and conspicuous noise coming from the bent over region of this woman.

Having never fully matured in my sense of humor surrounding bodily functions, I feared I might laugh right out loud, so I casually turned around and tried to get very interested in a
book. Soon little snickers threatened to fight their way out of me and I didn't want to embarrass this poor woman or myself, so I wandered nonchalantly down the aisle toward another section, away from the epicenter of this hilarity. I tried not to show any reaction, was trying so hard not to laugh, when I realized I was standing in the grief recovery section - grinning like mad!
- Which made me want to laugh even harder. It was very hard to contain myself but I did ok, considering the circumstances.


When I noticed that the woman had moved on a bit, I hurried back around the shelf so I could look at the section of books I wanted to look at that she had been looking at.

To make the situation even more uncomfortable, the smell was horrendous! I hurried on to another section of the store and pretended to be interested in some greeting cards in order to give area some time to air out some. Finally, I took a deep breath, dove for the book I wanted , grabbed it and made my way to the front of the store to check out.

The same woman was in front of me paying for her books when I heard the cashier say "Thank you, Sister."

I very nearly lost my composure completely at that point - when I realized I was in the presence of a Farting Nun.

14 Comments:

  • I so needed a laugh - thank you. This was hilarious. I would have been laughing too. Well, in between the gagging.

    By Blogger Hope, at 6/04/2005 1:00 PM  

  • Oh that is so funny sister.


    Take Care
    Michael

    By Blogger Michael, at 6/04/2005 4:09 PM  

  • You score! Surely Archie McFee will base an action figure on this story!

    By Blogger SpookyRach, at 6/04/2005 4:38 PM  

  • That's "Holy Air" Yikes....Perhaps this is why so many nuns abandoned the habit to avoid bringing scandal to the church!

    By Anonymous Jane, at 6/04/2005 6:40 PM  

  • you're one weird and funny chick! and i like you ... :o)

    By Blogger Saija, at 6/04/2005 10:14 PM  

  • Um...where have I heard that before?!?!?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6/04/2005 11:11 PM  

  • Probly on the back porch, smokin a clove..... :o)

    By Blogger Captainwow, at 6/05/2005 10:12 AM  

  • - oh yeah - nothing is funnier than fart and poop and jokes . . . thanks for the sunday morn giggle :)

    By Blogger Katherine, at 6/05/2005 10:29 AM  

  • "You think you're such a smart feller,
    but you ain't nothing but a fart smeller"...

    I would have thought you would have had sense enough to give it time for the air to clear!!

    I don't know how you held it together with the woman in line in front of you. That is when I would have given up and lost it!

    By Blogger annie, at 6/05/2005 9:04 PM  

  • Annie, I haven't been called a Fart Smeller in SUCH a long time...

    By Blogger Captainwow, at 6/06/2005 6:36 AM  

  • The Farting Nun Story - in print! Yay!!
    I like spooky's idea - I want my own Farting Nun action figure. One where you lift the arm or bend the waist to get her to "talk" to you. Think of the hours of fun...

    By Blogger Just Pat, at 6/07/2005 5:33 AM  

  • OMG...yes and when she farts her little habit lifts up....kinda like a Marilyn Monroe thing!!

    By Blogger Princess of Everything (and then some), at 6/07/2005 4:26 PM  

  • Man, You have a ton of comments on this one! Will we ever outgrow fart and poop stories! (I hope not)

    By Blogger studiobeerhorst, at 6/07/2005 7:41 PM  

  • You lucky lady...they're not as rare as the Farting Teacher but still to see one in the wild....

    By Blogger seeker of truth, at 6/08/2005 4:02 PM  

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