The Farting Nun

A good while back, I was in the bookstore at Marywood, a nearby Dominican Center which also houses some retired (and probably un-retired) nuns. I was there looking for a specific book. As I approached the section near the back of the store where I knew I'd find the book I was looking for, I saw an old woman bending over looking at the same section I wanted to look at. So I hung back and looked at other books, giving her some personal space. As I was browsing, I heard a very long and conspicuous noise coming from the bent over region of this woman.

Having never fully matured in my sense of humor surrounding bodily functions, I feared I might laugh right out loud, so I casually turned around and tried to get very interested in a
book. Soon little snickers threatened to fight their way out of me and I didn't want to embarrass this poor woman or myself, so I wandered nonchalantly down the aisle toward another section, away from the epicenter of this hilarity. I tried not to show any reaction, was trying so hard not to laugh, when I realized I was standing in the grief recovery section - grinning like mad!
- Which made me want to laugh even harder. It was very hard to contain myself but I did ok, considering the circumstances.

When I noticed that the woman had moved on a bit, I hurried back around the shelf so I could look at the section of books I wanted to look at that she had been looking at.

To make the situation even more uncomfortable, the smell was horrendous! I hurried on to another section of the store and pretended to be interested in some greeting cards in order to give area some time to air out some. Finally, I took a deep breath, dove for the book I wanted , grabbed it and made my way to the front of the store to check out.

The same woman was in front of me paying for her books when I heard the cashier say "Thank you, Sister."

I very nearly lost my composure completely at that point - when I realized I was in the presence of a Farting Nun.