Diapers and Silence

Today I realized that I'm finally over the amazement of Sam sleeping through the nights finally. Except of course last night he pooped his diaper in the middle of the night. But I expect there will always be something like that. What I mean is not having to feed him during the night.

However, changing a poopy diaper in a dim room with no glasses on is not a good idea. I'll leave it at that.
Thank goodness he doesn't do that very often.

So I have a 4 day silent retreat coming up for my class next month. Last night I had a dream that I was journalling at the "wrong" times and a friend of mine showed up dressed like a Shiek. I was glad to see him but also aware that it would look really strange for me to have a male visitor alone in my room in a retreat center when I was supposed to be alone. Also, a good friend showed up with a big hug for me which I desperately needed because I was feeling quite anxious and lost trying to get from one part of the property to another. At one point the path flooded and I had to wade through muddy water. I stumbled upon a shack full of people from college who were staying up smoking and drinking. I hung out with them having a great time but next thing I knew it was the next morning. I hadn't slept and I was worried about making it to my appointment with my director. The last thing I remember was trying to get poop out of the treads of Sam's shoes! (remnant of diaper incident earlier in the night) Sister Virginia was telling me that was not an appropriate thing to do on a Silent Retreat.
So, hm. I might just be a tiny bit anxious about this thing, ya think?
I've done 1 and 2 day silent retreats but never 4. And I've never been away from Sam for even a whole 24 hours! Gonna be interesting.....