Captainwow

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Dream Journal Entry

Scented Candles - Aug 25, 2005

Was looking in a shop that had aisles and aisles of scented candles. I dont' remember actually being
able to SMELL anything. It was about the names of the scents mostly, and the colors.

Previously - or maybe simultaneously, I'm not sure - a bunch of us had organized a co-op for storage.
We'd chosen a basement to put everyone's stuff in and hauled it all down there. Our furniture consisted
of extremely valuable and beautiful antiques. We had a Great Dane guarding the stuff.

I was very concerned for the dog for some reason - even to the point of crying, but I don't remember why.

I specifically remember looking for Patchouli flavored candles, and at one point I was wheeling myself
around the shop in a wheelchair. Occasionally, I would get frustrated and get up and push my chair
around tough obstacles, then get back in it and continue on my way. Apparently, I didn't really need it.
At some point I became aware of a couple of people noticing this, and I felt ashamed that they might
think I was only using the wheelchair to get attention. I tried to remember why I even had the
wheelchair but I couldn't, so then I thought maybe I really was just doing it for attention. I felt very
embarassed.
/end dream

I think I had this dream because last night I went to the new GINORMOUS Target out on 28th St. I also wore maternity clothes in public for the first time. I'm not really showing lots yet but I can't wear my normal clothes anymore either. I felt very weird about wearing them though I'm sure no one even cared or noticed.
I think this comes from me not wanting to overtly do attention getting stuff. Or at least not to look like I am. God forbid anyone should see any of my real live broken self sticking out!
It felt a little like High School when I would try out a different look. If I did my hair differently than usual I felt that the whole school was looking at me and that they were going to see how incompetent I was/felt about such things.
I learned eventually that most people are not noticing me in great detail. In addition, they might likely feel as stylishly inept as I do and/or are so into their own world that any weirdness about me is not noticable to them at all.
I know this, but I still feel weird about wearing maternity clothes quite yet. -- Not that it's going to stop me. I'm wondering why I didn't do this sooner. It's SO much more comfortable!

WHEW!

5 Comments:

  • Dear Lord, bless this woman. May she feel You near. Help her through her day(s) so that she may do Your will and bring glory to You.

    Amen.

    By Blogger curious servant, at 8/25/2005 1:48 PM  

  • I'm just so glad my baby gator picture did not inspire a pregnant hormonally mangled dream!

    Wait till a week or two after you've had the baby, and you are still wearing the stretchy maternity stuff, and someone asks you when your baby is due!

    By Blogger annie, at 8/25/2005 11:30 PM  

  • HA! Well, last night, we were out walking and we ran into an old friend of Kevin's. She came right up to us and asked me when I'm due. That was a first. It took me aback a little, but hey. I guess it's OK to wear the maternity clothes then. HEH.

    By Blogger Captainwow, at 8/26/2005 11:31 AM  

  • I LOVED maternity clothes. ~whispers~ I even wear one maternity blouse now that no one knows is maternity cause I love the way it is cut. The BABY is 12 and about to be 13.

    By Blogger Princess of Everything (and then some), at 8/26/2005 12:28 PM  

  • I hear ya girlfriend. At some point you just want to wear the maternity clothes just to say hey I am pregnant, not gaining weight and I am allowed to eat all of this ice cream all by myself.

    I remember reading the prego book and it saying to take maternity clothes with you to the hospital... obvious??? Not to me I was like "ohhhhhhh"....

    By Blogger JustMe, at 8/30/2005 12:31 PM  

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