Captainwow

Thursday, January 20, 2005

It Matters

I do this thing. Maybe you do it too.

It's not going to be easy, but I need to quit it because it's creating little eddies of stupidity in my life.

There are times that I legitimately need/want something from others ... Their help, or their presence, or to talk.... Whatever. But I almost always try to make it easiest on the other person... I never want anyone to inconvenience themselves, I say it doesn't matter....I minimize the importance of my need or want so that they won't feel obligated or so that they won't feel pressured or that I won't make things too hard on someone else.

As if what I need or want doesn't really have significance. As if I wouldn't and haven't ever bent over backwards for others.... as if no one loves me enough to go around the world and back for me - I have, and they do.

So you see this is ultimately not helpful to anyone, least of all me.

I need a support group.

I'll say: Hi, my name is Captainwow and I am a whatever that's called when you do that thing where you try to not be a bother to anyone in the entire human race.

They'll say: Hi, Captainwow.

The expressions on their faces will tell me that they understand and I'm in a Safe Place. And we'll tell our stories and cry together and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes.

At the end of each meeting we'll say: It DOES TOO matter! *I* matter, and the things that matter to me matter so there.

10 Comments:

  • SO THERE!

    By Blogger Headless-in-GR, at 1/20/2005 3:55 PM  

  • Hi CaptainWow

    It DOES TOO matter! *I* matter, and the things that matter to me matter so there.

    I do it too.

    Take Care
    Michael

    By Blogger Michael, at 1/20/2005 4:36 PM  

  • Yeah, but then there is step one where we have to turn everything over to a higher power. And although we really need the help, a lot of other people do too, and we don't really want to be a bother - I can just wait until you are finished helping those guys, Mr. Higher Power Person Sir. Thank you.

    By Blogger SpookyRach, at 1/20/2005 5:21 PM  

  • Ah, Captainwow, (I love that name!) You may not remember, but you stumbled across my blog a while back and left a comment on a gluebook page I had done. I tried emailing you back, but your box was full at the time.

    Someone once said, "we are here to do good to others. I don't know what the others are here for.", or something very similar to that!

    Like you, I just over-absorbed the "do good to others part", and forget that sometimes, it is a good thing to be one of the "others" so that someone else can practice doing good to others on us! So you see, we are doing others a favor when we allow them to grant our needs/wants! Not being a bother to others is a hard lesson to unlearn. I wish you well in that endeavor.

    Carry on, Captainwow,

    annie
    (with uncool and cheesy blog name!)

    By Blogger annie, at 1/20/2005 5:40 PM  

  • "YOU matter to me." "It DOES TOO matter! *I* matter, and the things that matter to me matter, so there!"

    I don't know how to undo that trying to not be a bother to the entire human race thing. I have a similar affliction of trying to be something to the entire human race thing. The outcome is the same. We both feel bereft of importance and discounted. Maybe I am making that up, but that is how *I* feel. Love you sister, Look forward to Bday 2nite!

    Sending you GINormoUs HUG! Janay

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1/21/2005 10:12 AM  

  • As soon as you learn what it's called will you let me know I've begun calling it 'reverse pride' but I'l bet there's a catchier name!!

    By Blogger seeker of truth, at 1/21/2005 1:03 PM  

  • You forgot the part where while the support group is telling stories and crying and smoking cigarettes, we are still trying so very hard not to hurt each others' feelings or step on toes or make anyone feel badly. It is inescapable!
    You matter TONS and TONS to me, and remember: while you are going out of your way for us, we are going out of our ways for you!

    By Blogger ., at 1/21/2005 5:08 PM  

  • . . . oh I so know this one . . . how many times does one have to say are you sure? are you sure you don't mind? are you sure it won't inconvenience you? after a favor has been granted? Oy :) pass me the coffee and smokes :)

    By Blogger Katherine, at 1/21/2005 6:01 PM  

  • . . . oh I so know this one . . . how many times does one have to say are you sure? are you sure you don't mind? are you sure it won't inconvenience you? after a favor has been granted? Oy :) pass me the coffee and smokes :)

    By Blogger Katherine, at 1/21/2005 6:01 PM  

  • Then, there's the second meeting:
    "Hi, my name is Captain Wow, and I've been allowing my needs and wants to be known for a few days now.
    [Wild applause and whistling, followed by, "You rock, Captain Wow!!! Yeah!!}
    It's been hard, but it's better. I matter!
    [You DO matter, Captain Wow!!]

    By Blogger Just Pat, at 1/22/2005 2:05 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home