Puzzlement

There's not much going on in my head I want to write about these last few days. I've chosen to be more present in my "real life" lately and that means spelunking around in the blogosphere a lot less. Today I read this post on going jesus and really liked what she had to say about learning to live without so much protective layering.

In other news, the hiking shoes came in today. They're real cool.

I've also been working on the hardest puzzle in the world. Well, maybe not. With the aid of 2 young friends we've gotten quite far but it's not easy. These are the weirdest puzzles I've ever seen. It's actually 2 puzzles in one. They throw all the pieces in one bag and you have to figure out which is which. 1000 funky shaped pieces total. THEN to top that off, they haven't got the right photos on the top of the box! They are just enough different to make one go crazy.

At the same time, I remembered that puzzles are great therapy for me. I forgot that. I hadn't done a puzzle in so long I forgot that once in about 1996 or 7 maybe, I'm not sure which year, I was at my craziest ever. Freaked Out Insecure Neurotic and Emotional was I. There came a 4 day weekend after a painful breakup where I found myself with a holiday weekend and nobody to hang out with. My parents were out of town, and everyone had plans, not a thing going on. I freaked out but then I thought to myself: "Ok, Self. There was a time I liked being alone. What did I do then?" Well, I drank a lot of coffee and I wrote letters and I listened to music and I lit candles and I watched movies. But I didn't want to do the exact same things, I wanted to do things that were good for me and I wanted to do something that would occupy my mind and stop the obsess-fest.
So I bought some good coffee, I taped the Joyce Meyer show all week, (she was really helpful to me at that time) on a whim, I bought a puzzle and a new CD. When the weekend came, I didn't feel ready for it. But I worked on that stinkin puzzle all weekend. I drank coffee and I sang along with the CD and I cried and I healed. I went for walks, and I watched Joyce Meyer and I got in touch with me again. I remembered who I was without all the dependence and the entanglement and the immense need of another.

There's just something about a puzzle. I hardly ever do them, but with some good music in the background and a really intense puzzle, there's something that comes over me that is a little like hypnosis. Maybe my consciousness is distracted just enough to get down to the real me or something. I'm not sure. But it's been good all over again.