Dare to Dream
Do you ever not know you're scared about something until you're not and then you go "WHEW! That was really freakin scarin me!"
wow.
And last night I had a dream that reminded me how afraid I used to be of the dark.
I dreamed I was out and realized while walking that if I didn't hurry up I was going to have to walk home in the dark and that old creepy panic snuck back in and I felt that feeling that I haven't felt in a long long time.
And another thing that has always scared me is water. I can deal with it. I can swim and I like snorkeling and I love being in boats but I am really careful about how and what and where and with whom I am in or around water with. Underneath this layer of control there this completely irrational fear and if I let it, it can completely paralyze me. The other night I dreamed I was needing to swim from one body of land to another. The ocean between was really choppy and I was with my mom. So we started swimming. I remember thinking how scared I was and how I hated that my legs were dangling in this dark water and how I felt that almost out of control panic but not quite so I kept swimming. I knew if I kept pushing I'd get where I needed to go and it would be over. Along came this huge wave and I swam as hard as I could and then I got even more scared so I shut my eyes really tight and swam for all I was worth and suddenly the wave let me down gently on the sand on the other side. Just like that, I felt the soft wet sand on my face and I was out of danger. I was so incredibly relieved!
The way I'm interpreting this dream is that once in a while something takes me by surprise and sets me down gently. Once in a while something I hate so much or am so afraid of turns out to be helpful or even completely harmless. Or someone I thought I needed to have my guard up with turns out to be benevolent instead of dangerous.
Life is just like that I guess.
wow.
And last night I had a dream that reminded me how afraid I used to be of the dark.
I dreamed I was out and realized while walking that if I didn't hurry up I was going to have to walk home in the dark and that old creepy panic snuck back in and I felt that feeling that I haven't felt in a long long time.
And another thing that has always scared me is water. I can deal with it. I can swim and I like snorkeling and I love being in boats but I am really careful about how and what and where and with whom I am in or around water with. Underneath this layer of control there this completely irrational fear and if I let it, it can completely paralyze me. The other night I dreamed I was needing to swim from one body of land to another. The ocean between was really choppy and I was with my mom. So we started swimming. I remember thinking how scared I was and how I hated that my legs were dangling in this dark water and how I felt that almost out of control panic but not quite so I kept swimming. I knew if I kept pushing I'd get where I needed to go and it would be over. Along came this huge wave and I swam as hard as I could and then I got even more scared so I shut my eyes really tight and swam for all I was worth and suddenly the wave let me down gently on the sand on the other side. Just like that, I felt the soft wet sand on my face and I was out of danger. I was so incredibly relieved!
The way I'm interpreting this dream is that once in a while something takes me by surprise and sets me down gently. Once in a while something I hate so much or am so afraid of turns out to be helpful or even completely harmless. Or someone I thought I needed to have my guard up with turns out to be benevolent instead of dangerous.
Life is just like that I guess.
posted by Captainwow on
4/16/2004
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home