Thursday, February 19, 2004

Postal Sex

In case I haven't mentioned it yet I do not enjoy going to the post office. For any reason whatsoever. I like stamps. I like the people at the counter. They're ever so nice at the one I go to -- efficient enough, but they recently closed one post office so now everyone from everywhere has to go there and I hate waiting in line and it smells funny in there too.

So anyway.

I drove to the post office today in my usual postage frame of mind. Parked, got out of the car, and stood in line until called upon. The woman waiting on me had spiky short burgundy hair and a hungarian accent. Sweet lady, I think I remember her from last year when I went in there too. (I told you I hate the post office) I needed stamps for my wedding invitations so I asked if they had any cool ones, like for wedding invitations. "OH!" She said, "You're getting MARRIED!?" And pulled out three different stamp designs and began chatting up a storm with me. So we did the transaction and then she leaned forward and whispered "I know the perfect book for you."
I leaned forward and whispered "What book is that?"
And she said "you must read Feeding Your Husband by Dr. Slessinger. I got it for my daughter but I'm reading it first and it's really good."
Then she stopped whispered and said very loudly and enthusiastically:
"I think that if you read that book you'll have LOTS OF SEX!"
I was stunned, had nothing to say to that until she realized what she'd said and recovered by saying even louder, "SUCCESS!!! SUCCESS!!!" "I meant to say SUCCESS!!"
There was this brief silence while everyone tried to figure out if they could laugh or not - and to our great relief, she laughed.
And then, the whole post office was full of people doubled over laughing.
That, my friends - is the MOST fun I've EVER had at the post office!


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